Reserved Shoulders
by Unproductivity
Summary: Set after the Noi incident... spoilers involving people in other people's past... Yohji is angsty, but he get's a visitor to help.


 SEQ CHAPTER \h \r 1Reserved Shoulders

By Unproductivity

            It just takes some time.  That's what Aya says.  I'm not sure I believe him... I mean, I know Yohji's going to have to move on, but I don't think he wants to.  He's done nothing but sulk in his room these past few days. I don't really blame him.  He lost the love of his life, by his own hand.

            He was suppose to work the evening shift tonight with me, but I think can handle it on my own. I went to go tell him.  

            "Yohji?" I asked, peeking into his doorway.  He has been leaving it open a crack - I think it's his was of inviting people to come in and talk to him – if they want.  I want to talk to him about this, I mean, he's my best friend.  Unfortunately, I never know how to talk to people about situations like this.  Grief is not a fun topic, and I never know if what I say will make it worse.  I always feel uncomfortable.

            Yohji was sitting on the corner of his bed that was against the corner of his room.   His head had been resting on his folded arms, which sat a top his knees, but he picked it up at the sound of my voice. He blinked once.

            "Uh... your shift is in around an hour, but if you want, I can-"

            "No," Yohji shook his head and smiled weakly at me. "I appreciate it, but Ken, it's probably going to be busier than you think tonight."

            "How so?"  I asked, coming into his room and standing by his bed.

            "Because you're trying to do me a favor. I really appreciate it, but knowing our luck, I'd accept your offer, then you'd get swamped down there. It's bound to happen."

            "Yeah, I guess you're right." I smiled back at Yohji.  "Well, I tried."

            "Heh." Yohji let out a small laugh, but I could tell it was half-hearted. The blond turned his head towards the window and rested his head on top of his knees again.  I stood next to his bed, feeling a little nervous for a few seconds.

            "Um, do you... I mean, do-"

            "Ken, I know you," he said.  "You want to help, but you don't know how."  Wow. Right on the money.  I guess that's why we're best friends.  

            "Well, yeah. Yohji, I hate to see you like this.  I mean... we've hardly hung out lately, and I've barely talked to you since-"

            "Thanks Ken." Yohji turned back towards me.  "But I'm not sure this is going to help out much."

            "Then tell me how to help," I said. I looked at Yohji with as much seriousness as I could possibly show.  He sighed and rested his forehead on his arms.  I climbed on his bed and crawled over to sit next to him.  "You know, I was in a very similar situation earlier this year, Yohji."

            Yohji looked up at me with confusion.  "What?"

            "Remember Kase?  I killed him.  I had known him for most of my childhood and teenage years..." I trailed off, remembering that night.

            "This is a little different, Ken. Unless you loved him."

            "Like a brother. We were pretty inseparable when we were younger.  Wherever one of us went, the other followed.  He knew everything about me.  He wasn't _like _a brother I never had, he _was _the brother I never had."

            "I- I'm sorry." Yohji looked away from me again.  I decided I didn't like talking to the back of his head, so I gently grabbed his chin and pulled it back towards me.     

            "Don't be. I trusted him, and I shouldn't have.  He wasn't the friend I used to have.  Something had poisoned him. He was too easily influenced.  Something had to have happened, because he _wasn't _the same Kase that I used to know."

            "So... was it hard?" Yohji asked, his voice small.

            "Hell yeah.  I still can't believe that I did it sometimes.  I almost thought he was actually sorry for what he had done... right before he told me to go to Hell." Now it was my turn to hide my face.  I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to convince the tears to soak into my eyeballs.

            "Ken..." I heard Yohji ask, his voice still soft. This time, however, I could hear a little bit of concern in his voice.  I blinked a few times, and tried to put on a small smile for my friend.

            "I'm okay. Sorry. I -" I was shut up by Yohji pulliing me in for a hug.  He put his forehead to my shoulder and started to quietly shed tears into my blue t-shirt.  I quickly followed his example and let out my pent-up grief for Kase.  I had never cried much for him, hadn't thought it would be right. Crying for an enemy isn't all that practical of a thing. Crying for a lost friend, however... Telling Yohji about that night reminded me of Kase, and what a good friend he used to be.  It also reminded me how sad I was to find him, and loose him.  

            Any pride I might have had for being tough and not a crybaby was lost the moment Yohji grabbed me.  I had always thought of Yohji as more of a man than me. I mean, he had been with way more women, he never showed his soft side in public, and I have never, ever seen him cry.  When he did... I gained some respect for him.  It also reminded me of the old Kase.

            I don't know how long we sat there, holding each other, but I guess long enough for both of us to fall asleep.  I was awakened by the sound of the door shuting.  I guess Omi had come looking for us and decided to leave us be and shut down the shop early.  At least, that's what he told me later.  I was glad. Yohji lifted his head and blinked a few times. I guess he heard the door too.  He glanced at his watch.

            "Well, I guess we're not working tonight," he said, with a faint smile on his face.

            "Yeah, I guess not." I looked at my shoulder where Yohji's face had been and saw it was still a bit damp. 

            "Ehe, sorry about that." Yohji blushed slightly until he found his shirt had a damp spot as well.

            "No more than I am." I leaned foward and put my arms around Yohji for another quick hug. He hugged me back.  

            "Thank you, Ken. I actually feel a little better." He said quietly into my ear.

            "I do too, Yohji.  You helped me as much as I helped you." 

            He leaned back to look at me with curiosity in his eyes.  "I did?"  

            "Yeah. I seemed to have somewhat blocked my memory of Kase until earlier. I had never cried for him...  Listen, Yohji, if you ever need to talk to me about this again, feel free to.  I think it would help us both.  Even though we loved them in different ways, we both lost someone we cared deeply for," _in the worst way possible_, I added to myself.

            "Thanks Ken. I think I'll take you up on that offer. And if you ever need a shoulder to cry on, let me know. I'll keep both reserved for you." Yohji smiled, a real full smile.  Of course, that only caused me to follow suite.

            "Then I'll reserve mine for you, too," I offered, smiling back.  

~owari~

Authoress's note:

Well, this didn't go quite as how I laid it out last night... It's odd how I get fanfic ideas at work.  Especially while listening to country music. I'm not even sure which song got me thinking of Yohji and Ken... but I do know an oldies song that kinda got the idea in my head to begin with... Stand by Me by Ben E King.  I also did a wallpaper that kinda goes with it... and I guess Unaspirality's new fic that she tried out on me kinda did too.. As did re-reading parts of Magic's Pawn... I dunno. I get inspiration from odd places...  I also should note that the rough draft of this was written in about an hour... while listening to some of the angsty music on my playlist.  Angsty music such as both Finale and Fate by L'Arc~en~Ciel, Sunrise Sunset by Masami Okui, Separate Ways by Journey, and Everybody Wants You by Billy Squier. Wait... that last one's not angsty... although I guess it kinda fits Yohji's image, ^_^ 

Anyway, hope you enjoyed. Lemme know what you think. *points to Review thingie*


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